Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Well, the players have spoken their last lines and the curtain has fallen. What have I learned??

I have learned that no matter how hard I try to be pessimistic, it doesnt work. I love my life and all the people in it.
I have learned that I am still not very good at the whole literary critisism thing, so I need to work on that some more.
I have learned that I love my family, both from home, and the family I have formed here.
I have learned that I love literature, and that makes me a nerd and a half, but I am ok with that.
I have learned that I love laughing and smiling, and no matter how stressed I get, I find a way to laugh at it. That is a good quality in my book.
I have learned that I work pretty hard, and though I am not a genious, I try. and that is good enough for me.
I have learned that my adventures are priceless, and I would not trade them for anything.
overall, I have a good life, and I love it. I am an english teacher in the making, in all my nerdy glory and I would not trade me for anything.

And the crowd gives her a standing ovation...... Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!!

One Art

this is one of my favorite poems ever, called one art. for those new to it, here you go.......

One Art - A poem by Elizabeth Bishop
"The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster."

to me, this poem is about moving on. Life continuing.
There have been several times in my life where i have lost things. most of them were not disasters. I have even lost people. and though it may seem like a disaster, life moved on, and the disaster aspect faded. this is what Browning is trying to tell us in the poem. she says to lose something every day, so that we become better and more capable to move on with our lives. the heart heals with time i have learned, and it seems that Browning has learned the same thing.


my roommate/ best friend and I have a plan.

We are running away to Australia. Yep. the end. the two of us are oober stressed out, so we are going to ride buses, and take boats, and trains, until we get to Australia. We are planning to live there, and ride camels on the beach, swim in the ocean, and meet some nice tan boys with accents that can show us around. then we are going to rent an apartment, and I will be a bar singer and she will be a janitor at the bar so that we can make money, and we will grow old together and be happy and never have to think about the testing center again.......... and they lived happily ever after.


we have even gone so far as to look up how much a plane ticket would cost and start planning our packing lists.
it is how we escape, and it works! until the part where we have to come beck to reality kicks in..... haha

fun times

I have a very interesting life. no joke.

i have a friend who is determined to set up me and another friend. he does the most obvious things to try to get the two of us together, and it is oober weird. I love this kid, but he is killing me with the references to dating. haha. The friend he is trying to get me to date is just another friend, and though it is funny to hear some of the things he says, it can get weird. for example.... today on facebook, set up friend tagged guy he wants me to date in a bunch of my pictures that he is not in, and got me to change my profile picture to one of me and guy he wants me to date..... which oddly enough is the same picture guy i am supposed to date's profile picture is. confusing enough for ya??? good. cause it is kinda hilarious. you might just have to be there.....

The guy he wants me to date and I are in the middle of a war. I kinda unleashed a can of silly string on him with my roommates unexpectedly, then topped it off with a nice dousing of water later that night. I am waiting for the retaliation, and I am scared.... haha

My roommates and I are basically one soul in three bodies. we have sooo much fun. we have done all sorts of things together.... movies.... stargazing..... basketball..... studying..... looking for keys in the snow at 12:30 at night..... talking.... we just have fun. what can i say more???

my roommates, me, and another set of friends are in a large, grand prank war involving doors, newspaper, and all sorts of creative ideas. this might just be one of the biggest adventures of the semester, cause let me tell ya, it takes a lot of manpower to pull off some of the stuff we have done. may i just say, don't mess with my roommates and I, cause we don' play fair, we play for keeps. hahaha

college is very very stressful, and without all the good times life would be very boring and i would be kinda miserable. I believe that you have to laugh during the work in order to be able to survive!!!! just my philosophy.

I sing.... betcha didnt know that.

I have a confession to make....... I sing. that is right. I sing. Do i ever do it in public, goodness no. has my roommate/ best friend ever heard me sing in the year she has known me? no. has my other roommate/ best friend ever heard me sing? yes, but only twice... max. Do I love singing? with all my heart!!
why am I so afraid to share my talent? Who knows!!!!!! but i hate it with a passion.

I think i feel like there are more than enough singers to go around when you live in a place like this, so i do not sing, because i know i am not as good as them. but this explanation does not cover it, because none of my friends in high school knew that i sang either until I got up to do a solo at graduation. haha. I have sang in church once at home, and never here. I am simply terrified to do it.
I think I am a decent singer. I am no Celine Dion for sure, and i am not even as good as most of the people here, but I have been in an official after school practices included, gotta wear an ugly dress choir since 5th grade. AND i have a minor in music. That should encourage me to do better than I have at sharing a talent that I know was given to me by my Heavenly Father to share. But i cannot bring myself to do it. I don't know why, but it is frustrating me. I need to seriously consider it.

Samuel Johnson

Samuel Johnson is a writer from the 18th century. He wrote mainly about the follies of humankind and correcting them. Today I discovered that one of the follies he wrote about is idleness. To Johnson, idleness entails people who fill their time with meaningless tasks, talk and socialize to avoid being alone, and do nothing of value with their lives. Johnson admonishes these idle people to become productive. They are chastised and encouraged to do the very thing that they are avoiding and spend time alone in introspection.
I hate introspection because I do not want to think about all of my shortcomings and ways to fix them. That requires effort!! But when thinking about improving myself seems like a challenge, that is when I realize that I most need introspection. bummer...... Basically, it the equivilant of the process required to get better when you are sick. You have to take the nasty, gag me, must have a glass of water next to you when you take it or you will puke medicine. I agree with Johnson one hundred percent. I hate it, but I agree. So, to eat my words, here is a little mini introspection I have been doing.

I stress wayyyy too much, and need to relax or I will have an aneurysm by my 23rd birthday.
I do not do enough journal writing. I know my memory is awful, so i need to write stuff down so that i do not lose it.
I do not tell my family that I love them enough. I am so far away that I get caught in the day to day and forget about them. I need to get better at having real conversations with my little sisters, and remembering to tell my family how much they mean to me.
I am mean!!! Really, I am. My favorite nickname for people is butt and a half. Haha, not good. I need to learn to say nice things! cause I am awful at it.
I feel like I do not study nearly as much as I should. I know I am trying my best, but I think my best can be a little better, if that makes sense at all.
I am really really really bad at sharing my talents. Really really really bad. Most people have no idea how much I love music and that I sing... gotta work on that one too.

Work on these things.
Ready, Go!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


It has always been my way to hate poetry. i have disliked poetry with as strong a passion one can have for as long as i can remember. well. me being an english major and all, i have had to read more poetry this year than i ahve ever read in my life..... and you know what? my iron fist heart is starting to soften a little. i know i know, crazy right???!!!! I am getting the hang of analyzing poetry, and i like it so much more now that i can figure out what in the world they are trying to say to me!! i do not like poetry yet, but i dislike it less, which is a step up i think. thank goodness for patient teachers that deal with my slow learning in this area. without their help, i would still hate poetry. and that would be sad.